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The story I’m about to tell is true, even if you’ve heard otherwise. Don’t believe anyone else. I was there.

It happened in 1987 or 1988, a few days before Christmas. My boy was in high school in the leafy suburban town where we lived, about 50 miles east of Manhattan.

Now, just because I was a single mom did not mean we were living in poverty. We weren’t. I owned the house, and was getting ready to send my son to college. 

Although I started out with a 20 month-old baby, a laundry bag and only a few dollars in my pocket in 1974, over the next dozen years, I clawed my way into a comfortable middle-management position at the sixth largest newspaper in the US. Unlike many of my sisters raising children alone, I was doing well, with the insomnia, grey hair and stress-related health problems to prove it. 

Our day began early and ended late. To keep sane, I ran at the beach before work. Just about the time my son hopped on the bus, I was out the door and on my way to a 3-mile walk/run. I did this most days, in most kinds of weather. It was heaven and, if something interfered with this routine, I was out of sorts for days. 

So, by mid-December, the days were so short, you could yawn and miss one.  It was 25 degrees in the sun. Not only had the cold shut down my run, but snow was falling, so I hadn’t been worth talking to for at least a day or so.

The morning in question began badly. For the umpteenth time that month, Number One Son slept through his alarm and missed his bus. This meant I had to drive him to school, which nixed any chance for exercise, even if I wanted to just walk a mile in the neighborhood.

I wasn’t happy about this, and let him know. 

By the time I got out on the road to go to work, it was snowing very hard, and the snow was beginning to stick. I was already a little late, but figured I could make up some time once I got out of our development and onto the highway.

At the first light, I got stuck behind a 1970-something Cadillac with bad rings, exuding billows of blue smoke that got sucked into my circulating vents, which then threw it out the dashboard vents and at my face. Petroleum residue was burning up the oxygen in the car so fast, I could barely breathe, so I rolled down the driver-side window. Immediately, snow blew into my face, coating my glasses, and the windshield fogged up so I couldn't see, anyway.   

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Soon, the light changed but the situation didn’t.

Every single time I tried to pass this turkey, he drifted to the left to straddle both lanes. Traveling about 30 in a 50 mph zone, he and I were at the head of a parade of very angry drivers, going back at least a mile. True, it was snowing but any self-respecting New York driver could handle it. Not this guy!

Our annoying little dance continued for ¾ of a mile on the very stretch where I’d hoped to make up a some time. 

I’d pull out to the left. He’d pull out ahead of me. I’d go back into the right lane, and so would the belching behemoth.    


Finally, the Cadillac spent a few extra seconds in the right lane, which gave me an opportunity to shoot around him. At this point, I was a danger to myself and everyone on the road, filled with the level of impatience only a die-hard Yankee fan can exhibit and get away with.

NOTE: I was not native to the Empire State, but there’s nothing more fanatical than a convert, right? Besides, I was a fast learner. 


As soon as we were neck and neck, so to speak, I leaned over and rolled down my Plymouth Reliant's passenger window, just to get a look at this jerk, who had to be either a teenage punk who lived to antagonize adults, or a centenarian who couldn’t see over the dashboard. 

Either way, I didn’t care. He had ruined my morning and I inhaled a lungful of that snowy air, preparing to give him a piece of my mind. 

Lo and behold, it was Santa Claus in that chariot, the real Santa Claus! The one whose 300-pound frame forces him to sit half way to the back seat. The one who whistles as he drives, probably dreaming he's still in a sled being pulled by a team of reindeer. The one whose snowy hair is pulled away from his eyes into a pony tail and whose beard is as fluffy as a sheep skin rug. 

The guy stayed in his lane. He just toodled on down the highway, smiling and whistling, belching and bouncing, probably going to his gig at the mall, where lines of moms with cameras had already assembled.

And, that was when it hit me: It was definitely time for me to leave New York. I mean, I almost ran SANTA CLAUS off the road, for crying out loud!

All I could do was laugh (and cry) at my own stupidity and promise myself (and Santa) I’d get a life -- somewhere, somehow -- just as soon as I could.

Not many years later, the newspaper helped me keep that promise when it re-engineered me out of my job, and put in motion a journey that took me to a small New England town, a reunion with an old friend which led to a late marriage, and even a career change.

Thanks, Santa! That may have been the best gift you ever brought me! 
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Comments

Adelaide Edelson

Mon, 21 Dec 2009 14:03:50

God, Paula, you are such a fine writer. What a beautiful story, and beautifully crafted. You've given me the best gift of the season.
Love,
Addie

 

June

Mon, 21 Dec 2009 14:06:05

What a "cool" story - and I have no doubt it's true! Dave should be thanking Santa, too! Merry Christmas to you both. J

 

Mon, 21 Dec 2009 14:06:50

Thanks for a wonderful Christmas story, Paula. Sometimes when bad things happen they are blessings in disguise. This is one of them.

Have a very Merry Christmas and a healthy and happy New Year.

 

Mon, 21 Dec 2009 15:55:59

Yo do know why Santa is so jolly, don't you?


He knows where all the bad girls live.


Maybe your Santa was en route to an assignation. It could happen.

 

Paula

Mon, 21 Dec 2009 16:11:49

Hmmmm, I never thought of that, Brad! Interesting possibility.

 

Liz

Wed, 23 Dec 2009 09:47:03

Great story. I think we all have an "impatient" story that has made us stop in our tracks. Have a wonderful holiday!

 

Chris

Fri, 25 Dec 2009 05:58:17

Hi, Paula -- I enjoyed your story very much, and also the music the other day, especially "From a Distance." Thanks! -- chris

 

Tue, 29 Dec 2009 15:22:51

Hi Paula, in the hubbub of company I didn't get to finish this story until today. Loved it. This one should go in the big family book so the grandkids can quote it to their kids.

 

Larry Burch

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 18:30:07

Just got around to reading the Christmas candy story, Paula. I've always believed (or at least hoped)there is a Santa Claus, and you've provided more independent evidence.

 



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